The “REAL Men Provide, Real women appreciate it” billboard in North Carolina stirred up a lot of controversy last month, and I am using it to market my books, and to hopefully raise some money for a very worthwhile charity that provides breast reconstruction surgeries for breast cancer survivors who are uninsured or under insured and cannot afford it. (

This is what what real men do. We step up to the plate and make the world go around. The billboard does not  mean what the protesters tried to say it meant. It is not about an oppressive patriarchy designed to  keep women down. Women can do what they want and a real men will support their right to do it, but we will also speak up if they choose to condemn another woman’s choice to do what she wants.

Real women accept and respect other women’s choices be it the board room, the PTA meeting, or being a model.  Real men have an obligation to be real men whether they like it or not, and that is nature. Obviously there are lots and lots of men who do not choose to accept this responsibility, and in my view it is okay to criticize them for it on a case by case basis. Some have good reasons, other do not, and it is incumbent on real men to learn and know the difference. It is not however acceptable to look the other way. The world needs us. While I can admit that male aggression has done a lot of damage, it is also male strength that brought the world forward by fighting evil. Evil men trampled over others until real men stood up and said enough is enough. It has nothing to do with race or even sexual orientation. Gay men can be real men and often are.

REAL MEN come in all skin colors and even in all religions. Their commonality is that they understand right from wrong, and are willing to make the sacrifice it takes to defend the weak, and help those in need. They also accept the responsibility it takes to keep the real man’s place in the world alive. After real men invented almost everything that makes our lives better, too many relaxed and we stopped teaching our sons the need to always retain your strength for a rainy day.

In that scenario “strength” is not defined as physical prowess, although that can be a component. It is defined as honesty, integrity and an ability to navigate the world you live in so that those around you can rely on you to be the pillar you may be called upon to be. That means doing your best to provide for your family and good friends, to speak up to right a wrong ,and to never give up no matter how tough it gets.

In the last couple of decades real men allowed some among us to drop from our ranks thinking we had reached a place where real men were no longer necessary. What occurred was a generation or two of miseducated men and women who have merged their roles and made the world an unhappier and more dangerous place.

Women like to blame this ON real men instead of the lack of them. How can you blame real men for the increase of pedophiles? Real men have “fixed” more pedophiles and date rapists then the courts or college seminars ever have. Real men pay their bills, look out for their parents, honor their wives, and make their kids learn right from wrong. They make them do chores and respect adults. Real men’s kids don’t say “your not the boss of me” to teachers.

If women want to compete in a real mans world then they need to accept the fact that they are going to need to compete with real men. That means long hours, commitment, dedication and sacrifice. If they are willing to do that then they deserve all of the fruits of that labor, and any real man will welcome them aboard. What we won’t do is lie to them and tell them they are equal in a particular situation when they are not, anymore than we would tell a man he is equal when he is not. It is not about gender it is about ability.

People like to say that you cannot judge someone unless you have walked a mile in their shoes and that certainly has some merit. That having been said, unless you are a REAL MAN you cannot know what it is like to be one and to feel the sense of obligation and responsibility as part of your inborn nature. That is not a complaint nor an apology, It is an explanation so that perhaps those who want to emasculate men will recognize that it is not only a fruitless endeavor but actually not in their best interest.

Real man are never emasculated. We may take a step back and place our resources where they are given more respect and appreciation, but we don’t surrender the very fiber of our being anymore than a soldier would put down his gun.

So in conclusion, I hope that anyone upset by my books will at least ponder this essay with an open mind. and realize that it isn’t about oppression, that real men want to hold onto their gains. It is about an instinctual need to be a protectorate and a leader and there is a reasonable argument to be made that the world is a better place because we are here and would be worse off if we stopped and allowed the progressive left to continue their quest for milk-toast equality. Thank you.